Updated: Jul 3
"Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." - Romans 12:2 (NLT)
I used to hear stories about God changing people's desires, but now I have my own story to tell.
My earliest childhood memory is of a babysitter who used to take advantage of my sister and me. I couldn't have been older than 5-years-old when this happened.
I was an innocent child who learned about male body parts through hands-on experience.
Our babysitter was just a teenager, and I like to believe that he didn't know that his actions would negatively affect the lives of two little girls. But they did.
As messed up as this sounds, he wanted pleasure, and we were his puppets.
My sister and I didn't know the things he made us do were wrong and detestable. And disgusting. He was our babysitter, and we trusted him. But as we all know, people can abuse your trust.
For as long as I can remember, I was curious about sex. My curiosity led me down a very dark and unfulfilling path. I searched for love in all the wrong places, and I often found myself turning to temporary gratification to fill the voids in my life.
It never did, and it never could.
When I was 8-years old, I took a new believer's class at my church. Romans 12:2 in the KJV was one of the scriptures I never forgot. At the time, I had no clue what it meant, but it stuck with me for the last 20+ years of my life.
"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." - Romans 12:2 (KJV)
It's hard to believe that three years ago, I wrote a post about my struggle with sex as a Christian. I smile every time I re-read it because God has brought me so far from that place that I barely recognize it.
God literally has transformed my life by changing the way I think. To be honest, I'm not sure if I fully believed that it was possible until I experienced it myself.
But with God, all things are possible.
I'm a completely different person than I once was. And I'm happy to say that I no longer struggle with the desire to be intimate with anyone outside the sanctity of marriage.
Yes, thoughts about sex may occasionally come to mind—I'm still human. The difference, though, is that I've learned not to entertain those thoughts.
We can control what we choose to entertain in our minds.
Every day is a constant battle with conforming to the ways of the world. If we don't renew our minds with the things of God daily, what we don't want to focus on will win.
I refuse to let the old me win.
At the time I wrote the post, I Struggle With Sex, but I'm a Christian, God was already working in my life. I had been celibate (but struggling) for a few years.
I was weak and I needed God's help to develop more self-control and self-discipline.
As you grow spiritually, God exchanges your desires with new ones that align with His will. That's what happened to me.
Over the last three years, I spent a lot of time getting grounded in the Word, developing healthy friendships, and surrounding myself with mature believers who have been a great support system.
Taking time to strengthen your relationship with God is key to winning your battles.
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
— Romans 8:1-2
If no one has ever told you this before (or if you need a reminder), there's nothing too ugly that you've done that makes you unworthy of God's love. You are worthy of His love just as you are.
God loves us at our best and our worst. At our highest highs and lowest lows.
You don't have to feel condemned or guilty. Or disgusting— that's how I felt. God has his arms-wide-open waiting to love on you and help you to be victorious over every area of weakness in your life.
If He can completely transform me from a life of promiscuity to a life of purity, He can surely work a miracle in your life too. Don't let your struggles hold you back from all that God has for you.
You were born to do great things with the help of God. Give your heart and your battles to Him, and let Him transform you from the inside out.
You are not alone.
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Do great things with God.
* This post was originally published on May 1, 2018, and updated on June 16, 2020.