I trusted him because he was one of my closest friends.
He didn't live in the same state as me, so our distance allowed us to maintain a healthy "just friends" relationship. I was attracted to him, though, and I knew he wanted to be more than friends.
One weekend, when I was in his city, I needed a place to stay that was close to the venue where I was supposed to host a workshop. He only lived ten minutes away from the location and invited me to stay with him.
I knew staying with him was a terrible idea because, at the time, I just recommitted my life back to Christ. But, I chose to ignore my better judgment and convinced myself that everything was going to be fine.
"He's just a friend," I told myself, "Nothing will happen."
Everything wasn't fine. I found myself in a situation where I was too weak and vulnerable to control what was about to happen next...
And then the tears came ... uncontrollable tears racing down my face.
Overwhelmed with feelings of guilt for setting myself up to fail, I started to cry. If there's a sure way to kill a sensual mood, it's seeing someone you care about cry.
Embarrassed, but secretly glad my tears fell before we went too far, I explained to my friend about my commitment to celibacy. With a gentle kiss on my forehead, he let me know that he understood and respected my decision to stop.
That's why I trusted him. But, I should've been trusting Him...you know, God.
Note to self: Don't ever stick your head in the lion's den expecting not to get eaten. God can and will use bad situations for good, but some situations we put ourselves through and don't have to happen.
Let me say that again ... Some situations don't have to happen!
I have struggles just like everyone else. I'm a single female in my 20's and have thoughts of sex that I often need to consciously control with disciplinary actions—like filtering what I watch, listen to, and the conversations I have.
Why? Because you move in the direction of what you think about most of the time. So, if the majority of the music you listen to is about sex, you'll not only think about it, but you'll likely put yourself in situations that will lead to fulfilling your desire to have it.
Does struggling with thoughts of sex make me any less of a Christian than those who don't talk about their battles? Many of whom look at you with judgmental eyes as if they don't know exactly where you're coming from.
No, it doesn't.
And others do understand. Maybe not always your specific situation, but everyone has stinky poop that needs an air freshener.
My life air freshener of choice is God's Word.
If people make you feel like a hypocrite and like you can't possibly be a true Christian for having temptations, know that God sees the depths of your heart. He understands your pain, frustrations, and challenges.
And only He can and will get you through it all. God can give you the strength to fight temptation and win your battles.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
- 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
I may get punched in the face every now and then by life, and I have battles that I face daily, but I am a Christian who wants nothing more than to do the will of God.
And I don't use my challenges as an excuse to not strive to be my best self and follow God's Word. Making excuses for not being "perfect" can lead you down a very dark path.
Make decisions that strengthen you and bring you closer to God, not set you up for failure.
Give your battles to God, and let Him help you to conquer them one day at a time. Awareness is the first step toward change.
Challenge: What's one disciplinary action that you can take today to help you overcome something you're fighting with? I'd love to hear from you! Head on over to the discussions page , and I look forward to chatting with you.
*The Forholy community is a NO JUDGMENT ZONE. You are 100% free to ask questions, share your stories, give feedback, and be completely real.*
Conquer the challenges of life one step at a time so you can continue to be that special somebody you were born to be.