You never really know what's really going on in someone's mind.
I've been journaling consistently for the last four years, and I recently read through some of my old journal entries. I realized that I have a common theme that I've written about: my desire for companionship.
Ever since I was a kid, I always felt like the second best choice. It seemed as if my sister got most of the attention from our dad—she was for sure his favorite daughter—and I was second best.
When I got to 7th grade, I met my childhood best friend. She, like my sister, was beautiful and musically gifted. We were literally attached at the hip, and for the first time, I felt like someone's first choice.
That soon ended when I moved to Baltimore during my junior year of high school. Everyone already had their friends, and once again I felt like second best.
Throughout college, I sought love in all the wrong places hoping that I would finally be someone's first choice, but I never was. Now I'm 28-years-old and I've never been in a committed relationship.
My desire to be someone's first choice is still there today, and it's a daily challenge to not let my desire for companionship overshadow my hunger for God.
But one thing I've learned, and still have to remind myself, is that I am someone's first choice ... God's.
Even though I know who I am in Christ, I still have insecurities that try to get the best of me. Occasional thoughts tell me I'm not good enough. They tell me I'm unlovable and try to distract me from focusing on the only true love that can fill every void in my life.
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” - Jeremiah 1:5
We are God's first choice just as we are, baggage and all. He had plans for us before we were even conceived.
Do you get that out of nearly 100 million sperm, only one won the race to fertilize your mother's egg and create you? This blows my mind!
You are a miracle handpicked by God.
When your insecurities rise up and negative thoughts enter your mind, affirm the truth of what God says about you. Don't believe the lies!
Actually, I'm not. I am God’s masterpiece and a new person in Christ so that I can do the good things He planned for me long ago. - Ephesians 2:10
"You'll never be someone's first choice."
I already am! Before I was even conceived, God had plans for me. - Jeremiah 1:5
"God's forgotten about you."
No, he hasn't. If I wait on the Lord, I'll renew my strength. I'll mount up with wings like eagles, run and not be weary, and walk and not faint. - Isaiah 40:31
Don't let the enemy distract you from the truth of God's Word.
Having the desire for companionship is a healthy human desire if it doesn't take your focus away from God. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, "A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken."
We weren't created to be alone, but our companionship should be with God first. He is the center cord that we should build a foundation on before He adds anyone and anything to our lives.
God's love is the greatest love there is, and no one can ever love you like Him.
You will always be His first choice!
What's one thing you got from today's message? As always, I'd love to hear from you. Head on over to the discussions page with your thoughts, feedback, and questions. I look forward to chatting with you.
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You were born to do great things. Keep God front and center.