"And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows." - Luke 12:-7 (NLT)
I used to think that I wasn’t good enough to be someone’s first choice, but now I know that even the most unlovable people are loved by God.
“I don’t want to be your friend,” he said in a serious tone.
Those were the words that shattered my heart 7 years ago. The man I loved didn’t even want to be my friend anymore. Am I that unlovable?
I was in a “situationship” with a guy for almost 2 years. Things went downhill after the first 6 months, and by the end of year 2, I wanted things to go back to the way they were when we were just friends.
But by then, he didn’t want anything to do with me.
For almost 2 years, I was on an emotional rollercoaster with him. I was too broken and desperate to acknowledge the truth—he didn’t love me and never would.
Ever since I was a kid, I always felt like the second-best choice. It seemed as if my sister got most of the attention from our dad—she was for sure his favorite daughter. I was second-best.
When I got to 7th grade, I met my childhood best friend. She, like my sister, was light-skinned, beautiful, and musically gifted. We were attached at the hip, and for the first time, I felt like someone's first choice.
That soon ended when I moved to Baltimore during my junior year of high school. Everyone already had their friends, and once again I felt like second best.
Throughout college, I sought love in all the wrong places hoping that I would finally be someone's first choice, but I never was. And then the “situationship” happened with that guy 7 years ago.
That situation almost completely broke me, but in all of the darkness that I was experiencing, God’s grace helped me to keep moving forward.
One thing I've learned and still have to remind myself today is that I am someone's first choice—God's.
Even though I know who I am in Christ, I still have insecurities that try to get the best of me. Occasional thoughts tell me I'm not good enough. They tell me I'm unlovable and try to distract me from focusing on the only true love that can fill every void in my life.
"What is the price of five sparrows—two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows." - Luke 12:6-7 (NLT)
We are God's first choice just as we are, baggage and all. He numbered the hairs on our heads and sees us as His most precious creation.
Out of nearly 100 million sperm, only one won the race to fertilize your mother's egg and create you? That blows my mind!
You are a miracle handpicked by God.
When your insecurities rise and negative thoughts enter your mind, affirm the truth of what God says about you. Don't believe the lies!
Actually, I'm not. I am God’s masterpiece and a new person in Christ so that I can do the good things He planned for me long ago. - Ephesians 2:10
"You'll never be someone's first choice."
I already am! Before I was even conceived, God had plans for me. - Jeremiah 1:5
"God's forgotten about you."
No, he hasn't. If I wait on the Lord, He’ll renew my strength. I'll run and not be weary, and walk and not faint. - Isaiah 40:31
Don't let the enemy distract you from the truth of God's Word.
Having the desire for companionship is a healthy human desire if it doesn't take your focus away from God. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, "A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken."
We weren't created to be alone, but our companionship should be with God first. He is the center cord that we should build a solid foundation on before He adds anyone and anything to our lives.
If you’re anything like me, it can be a daily challenge to not let your desire for companionship overshadow your hunger for God, but no one can ever love you like Jesus.
You will always be His first choice. Stay encouraged.
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Do great things with God.