Loving the Unlovable.


"So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” — John 13:35-36


It’s easy to love people who are supportive, encouraging, and compassionate, but what about people who are always critical of others, pessimistic, and annoy you?

You probably have at least one person in your life who drives you crazy. Maybe it's a friend who can never seem to say something nice about you or a coworker who loves to gossip.

What do you do when you’re forced to be around these people on a regular basis?

I'm pretty good with adjusting to different personalities, but I have someone in my life who I often clash with. Every time I have a conversation with this person, I find myself getting defensive and turned off from the things the person says.

How can I learn to love this person despite their flaws? Or maybe it's me who's flawed.

There's an awesome story in Luke 7:36-50 about Jesus being anointed by a sinful woman. When the woman heard that Jesus was having dinner with one of Pharisees, she went to Him.

The woman washed Jesus' feet with her tears, wiped them with her hair, and anointed them with perfume.

Luke 7:39 says, "When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know what kind of woman is touching him. She’s a sinner!”

Basically, the Pharisee thought the woman was unworthy of touching Jesus, but Jesus thought otherwise.

In verses 44-46, He said to the Pharisee, “Look at this woman kneeling here. When I entered your home, you didn’t offer me water to wash the dust from my feet, but she has washed them with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You didn’t greet me with a kiss, but from the time I first came in, she has not stopped kissing my feet. You neglected the courtesy of olive oil to anoint my head, but she has anointed my feet with rare perfume.”

We often judge people by their outward appearance, but God looks at our heart. His nature is to be loving, and in His eyes, no one is unlovable.

God wants you to show others the same unwavering love that He has for you.

"So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” — John 13:35-36

Here are 5 things that will help you to show love when you're faced with "unlovable" people:

1. Looking in the mirror.

Don't be so blinded by the faults of others that you fail to see your own faults. We all have room to grow.

The Pharisee who invited Jesus over was quick to judge the woman, but Jesus taught him a lesson about looking in the mirror at himself.

Be open to constructive criticism, and always ask God to show you the areas in your life that need improvement.

2. The Word of God.

You may not be able to change others, but you can always allow God to change you. Read the Word, meditate on the scriptures, and allow the Holy Spirit to transform your heart.

As you study the Word, God will show you how to love others when it might not be convenient to do so. And as a result, God's light and love displayed through you will cause others to make changes in their own lives.

3. Prayer.

Never stop praying.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Anytime you need help with something, and even when you don’t, pray. Ask God to divinely intervene in your life. Ask Him to help you to love those who aren't easy to love.

Never stop praying!

4. Listening to the person.

Listen more, talk less.

Listen to what the other person has to say instead of being the one who is doing all the talking. And try to see things from the other person’s perspective.

Ask questions and listen intently.

You never know what someone might've gone through or might be going through. Sometimes all it takes is genuine care and concern to get through to someone.

5. Finding common ground.

It's always possible to find a “silver lining” with someone. Finding common ground can establish a foundation for a growing relationship.

Keep in mind though, growth takes time. Even when you find a mutually beneficially solution, give people time to adjust.

When you’re faced with difficult people, think about the unconditional love that God has shown toward you when you ignored Him, doubted Him, and didn’t give Him the credit He deserves.

Be better.

Be different.

Be loving to unlovable people.

As always, I’d love to hear from you. Based on the message today, what can you do to show the love of God to the “unlovable” people in your life? Comment below, and I look forward to chatting with you.

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You were born to do great things.

- Mags

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